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Black Swan

by Young Negrensé

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1.
Swan Lake Prelude 02:04
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This for you You never saw me I was always right there Yet You never saw me When I fell you watched But you didn't see me Hopelessly I reached out But you just smiled I doubted myself Till I was fully stifled Nearly killed myself I felt like dying But I kept on smiling No one ever knew Maybe you'll see it all now This is for you Swan Lake I swam far away Lake of tears I've been drowning I've been gone away I've been gone I've been gone away I feel wrong So I'll make another song about you Just get it off my chest Just to get it out my head I guess Swan Lake I swam far away Lake of tears I've been drowning I've been gone away I've been gone I've been gone away I fell wrong
2.
Blackswan 03:19
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(I been gone) (I been gone) (Laying low) (Yeah I been gone) I'm in this forest all alone Where do this road go (road go) Wary when I venture But I'm still lost (still lost) Try to find the key How much will it cost Lost boy lost up in the fog In the marsh sink in the bog Deep in my mind deep in my thoughts I let pain wash over me until I'm gone Until I'm gone Demons playing hide and seek Will I sink or will I peak Demons playing hide and seek Will I sink or will I peak I don't wanna fall asleep Will I sink or will I... I've got no use for you no I won't lose it all for you girl There was a time and place for that Yeah But it's come and past Maybe I'm just saying that So you get a taste of my pain That you never had Never had Shoulda known it'd never last Never last ayy She got me holding my breath Will this ever happen again I don't even trust my friends All I see are these acquaintances I don't have no feelings left For no one else No one else Imma put it all on the shelf Do my best to carry on with no one's help (No one's help) Drown it all in a well Yeah I hope you're doing well girl (Well girl) Demons playing hide and seek Will I sink or will I peak Demons playing hide and seek Will I sink or will I peak I don't wanna fall asleep Will I sink or will I... I been gone I been gone Laying low Yeah I been gone I been gone I been gone You don't know me Blackswan yeah I been gone I been gone Laying low I'm tryna show you I been gone I been gone Yeah yeah yeah I been gone ayy I feel ethereal
3.
Ethereal 04:22
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Warm fuzzy feeling on me Like a halo Moon glow in her eyes Like shiny hazel I'm in deep but I don't really think That she know She don't know I don't think that she know She don't know She don't know Yeah I don't think that she know She don't know She don't know Why you play with me With my emotions Everytime I see you Don't know where it's going Louisville but I don't think I'll feel the blows Cold shoulder drop me to the floor Cold weather on me when you go Bitter snow falling on my walls Had my armor on for way too long She broke it off Now I'm too exposed First impression Probably threw you off Yeah that's probably cause I'm too serious Got delirium Way I'm seeing us Way I'm seeing love Got me filling cups Smoking strong Cause there was never us all along Guess I'll be always all alone It was easier to be on my own Why is it so easy For you to move on Yeah It's ethereal It's ethereal Immaterial to you To you it's ethereal She ethereal (feel ethereal) I pray this tonic Drown the pain away Help me find a better way I need better days Need you to say it's all ok But you won't give me Any time of day I'm nocturnal now I'm always awake Demons want me gone Want me far away Whipping alcohol Just to fade away I'm limbo now I guess just where I'll stay Decay till I fade Warm fuzzy feeling on me Like a halo Moon glow in her eyes Like shiny hazel I'm in deep but I don't really think That she know She don't know I don't think that she know She don't know She don't know Yeah I don't think that she know She don't know She don't know She don't know It was love at first sight From only one side, my side Turned a blind eye to my blind side Should've known I'd die slow from the inside I fell wrong in these fall skies I fell wrong I fell wrong She don't know I fell wrong
4.
Fellwrong 04:10
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Where did I Where did I go Needed you You didn't know The extent to which I fell Try to explain the way I felt No acknowledgement How did it come to this My darkness festering Like a sickness I can't heal I have no more will No more will Will Where did I Where did I go Needed you You didn't know The extent to which I fell To which I fell I been awake I been awake Why does she hate me I don't know why So I've been awake I can't sleep no I been awake yeah I been awake yeah (Ayy yeah) Late night I take flight I'm up tight and you know why Vodka tears when I cry Chase it down with that sprite Try to focus on my grind But you always on my mind You show up when I hide Like you wanna see me die My eyes always red Never in my bed I'm alone again I'm alone again In my head again Chernobyl need a coat of lead From all the sappiness Fake happiness Been gone dry ice If you hold me think twice My soul been in vice My life roll the dice So I been I been awake I been awake Why does she hate me I don't know why So I've been awake I can't sleep no I been awake yeah I been awake yeah
5.
Roadtonowhere 02:56
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Alone Lately I've been on my own and I Don't know where to go with out Don't know how to cope without you I've been late night drinking thinkin bout you Fake smiling I been hurting aching Don't think you'll ever get it will you She too wicked who we kidding Thought this could all be different And not the same Am I to blame now Blame now On this road to nowhere I could crash you wouldn't care Alone Lately I've been on my own and I Don't know where to go without you Don't know how to cope without you And I'm riding no seat belt I'm queasy I don't feel well no I don't sleep at all See your face in the glow So I drink until I fall And I fell so wrong Dust in the storm I'm a ghost in the smoke Breathe in till I choke I don't even know more Who I am anymore Anymore (Anymore) (So now I'm) A ghost I've been floating on my own and I Can't let no one get close this time I'm moving all alone this time (Anymore now I'm) (Now I'm) Thinking bout you Aching
6.
Grit 03:23
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I been awake I been awake for days I been awake I been awake for days I been awake I been awake I been awake Yeah She said she hate me I don't know why Rosy red skies tonight Look like my eyes She gon cut me down again When she back around Why can't I back out My thoughts are way out of town My thoughts are way outta way outta She wrapped around someone Thats not me Climbing this tower And I might just jump B I'm on the wall and I'm feeling like humpty Why don't you want me Its okay I know I'm ugly I feel like I'm nothing I feel like I'm no one She still got the squeeze On my heartbeat She got she got the squeeze On my heartbeat She got the she got the squeeze on the trigger But you didn't pull I hoping you would I'm hanging by one hand Up five floors im anxious I pray I let go Fall from the sky like snow No one would ever know I grit my teeth and fall You wouldn't have come if I called If I called (I knew you wouldn't) I been awake I been awake for days I been awake I been awake I been awake Ayy Ooh True grit I thought I had it I couldn't have you Too many bad habits Are forming in me True grit There's something I'm lacking I'm losing grip on What's False or what's real True grit True grit True Ooh (False) Ooh
7.
Hades 03:38
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Lonely to my core Who was I before Don't remember anymore Trust is such a chore Who do you take me for Feel like i'm in a war Washed up on the shore Blood all on the floor ‎ All these signs that you ignore I can't do this anymore no Anymore no Chalky veins in the night You a vampire Bleeding out while I drive On a crash course Will I make it out alive I don't care no Trace the edge with my eyes I could end it all Jaded yeah I been jaded Faded I been getting faded Degraded underrated Black Swan Theory I know I could have evaded I didn't ask for this You didn't warn me Wasn't prepared for this You could've stopped me You could've stopped me You could've stopped me You could've let me down softly Ooh Didn't give me options Ooh Didn't give me options Lonely to my core Who was I before Don't remember anymore Trust is such a chore Who do you take me for Feel like i'm in a war Washed up on the shore Blood all on the floor ‎ All these signs that you ignore I can't do this anymore no Anymore no Can't do this Can't do this anymore Can't do this anymore Can't do this anymore Turmoil like a rabid squirrel Watch the sands of time unfurl Hurl myself deep in thought You wouldn't know beast I fought Savage feelings Reeling in the worst in me Is this really me Will I ever really be free Is this my destiny It's a mystery Try to elevate the real me But I'm too deep Imma stay under if I fall asleep I don't wanna wake up If this all repeat I don't wanna wake up I don't wanna wake up if it all repeat
8.
Leftonread 03:19
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Full 40's in my four door I don't wanna sleep I don't wanna sleep Only doze three hours No I never been this deep Never been this deep I don't wanna sleep She keep on leaving on read Don't know what she mean I can't sleep at night Thinking what we coulda been Many bottles on sight I been on a binge Alcohol my only friend that make me less tense Suicidal thoughts creeping in From the fringe of my mind I don't even fight Would she even notice I die tonight I might try to fly tonight See how far I glide But thats coward move No I gotta make it through I'm a fool for you There's nothing that I can do I'm the one to blame though not you But I'll never be the same when I come through Yeah Full 40's in my four door I don't wanna sleep I don't wanna sleep Only doze three hours No I never been this deep Never been this deep I don't wanna sleep Squeeze my lime like I'd squeeze a trigger Drown my feelings in tequila I been on a mission ayy To get you out my mind Can't get you out my mind no No (Ohh) (Yeah yeah) I don't wanna hurt you I just wanna hold you close Losing sleep over what I think is love Losing hope will I ever see the doves All I see are bats circling above me Nightcrawler Night crawling to my casket All of my eggs they all up in your basket Tragic It's a tragedy Will you ever answer me no Cause I would for for you Give my life for you I would die for you girl I would die for you Die for you Lie for you Die for you Die for you
9.
Dryice 03:07
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No warmth I been cold Dryice you can't hold me no Grip Slipping ice flow She don't wanna know She don't wanna think of me no more No more Now I'm out in a snowstorm Sharp flurries take my skin off Heart leary cut my veins off Don't you worry bout me That's rhetorical I know you won't You wouldn't wanna know What all my demons want (Demons want) They want me gone As much as you I'm just a pawn In this game for two No warmth I been cold Dryice you can't hold me no Grip Slipping ice flow She don't wanna know She don't wanna think of me no more No warmth I been cold Dryice you can't hold me no Grip Slipping ice flow She don't wanna know She don't wanna think of me no more No more No more No more She don't wanna love She don't wanna love Winter on me darkness no bright I just be wanna be by your side yeah Tell me everything will be alright But it's all in mind Looking for a love I never find Split roads and no signs Hit all lows Where are the highs The highs now No warmth I been cold Dryice you can't hold me no Grip Slipping ice flow She don't wanna know She don't wanna think of me no more No more No more No more She don't wanna love She never really saw me for Who I am Who I am You got me going mad Going mad
10.
Eyes 02:51
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(Eyes) Step into my shoes You'd probably die first try Darkness in my mental Got me thinking suicide See through my eyes And you would want to hide See through my eyes And you wish you were blind See through my eyes You wish it was a lie These heights I know you wouldn't climb It's the dead winter I got splinters From the summer got me bitter Snakes slither Flowers all round me wither I don't know how to feel anymore Yeah Ignore me Now kill me some more Numb to the touch To my core Now it's four in the morning And I haven't snored My Mind too busy And my body sore Vision dizzy I keep Pouring more I been stuck in this slump It ain't letting up Step into my shoes You'd probably die first try Darkness in my mental Got me thinking suicide See through my eyes And you would want to hide See through my eyes And you wish you were blind See through my eyes You wish it was a lie These heights I know you wouldn't climb
11.
Icefields 02:37
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Kneeling in the middle of an icefield For you For you Cleaver in my heart I'll cut it out for you So you Don't have to take it again Bleeding in the snow I'll plant a rose for you For you For you Left it in the cold The petals fell too soon Cause you Always looked the other way Do you even feel anything Cause I'm fading away When I think of your face Liquid nitro my veins But it's alright I'll be alright I think I'll just pour another drink Till my sentiment extinct And your image indistinct I don't wanna feel anything Anymore Meet me in the middle of an Icefield So you so you Can feel the bitter storm that stained body blue So you don't need to do it again Bleeding in the snow I'll plant a rose for you For you For you Leave me for the crows And let the vulture swoop Cause you Always look the other way
12.
No Ardor 03:45
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I've become my demons We are one now (one) They're the only ones That ever got my back now (back) Black swan getting darker In the light now (light) Black swan in the dark And the light now Please don't waste your time I'm on the run On the run for my life I'm outta town If you find my remains Don't make a sound Just count out all the pieces that you own You had it all in your hands And let it drown You let it drown yeah You let it drown Dive Deep in the lake off the dock I'll be at the bottom like a rock Dead locks always kept me in a box Where I belong Tell me that I'm wrong I've become my demons We are one now (one) They're the only ones That ever got my back now (back) Black swan getting darker In the light now (light) Black swan in the dark And the light now It was never love thought I could tell It was never love but just a spell That I fell for drowning in this well That I fell for put me down to hell Days getting darker My soul on departure No law and no order Colder no ardor now No ardor no It gets harder to breathe When I'm under this long Demons are smarter now Smarter now Ooh I've become my demons We are one now (one) They're the only ones That ever got my back now (back) Black swan getting darker In the light now (light) Black swan in the dark And the light now
13.
Crows 03:32
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Push me to the edge Standing on this precipice These Crows circle my head I can feel the dread Why do you want me dead I sit here in contemplation Is this how it ends Standing by the ocean I still got you on my mind Dreaming Gosha Europeans got me blind All we had was time I felt like a mime Could you read my eyes They never told a lie Got me swerving feeling woozy Real life or a movie No snooze feeling moody How can you do this to me Fool me foolish My blood pooling Dying slowly I can't move and My heart full of holes She got good aim good grouping Target practice to chest (chest) Crows picking my flesh (flesh) No peace no rest now Tombstone on the crest now Death coming for my breath now Death coming for my breath And I don't want anyone else I'll give you all of my health Push me to the edge Standing on this precipice These Crows circle my head I can feel the dread Why do you want me dead I sit here in contemplation Is this how it ends Seems I'm always in the rain I've been Swimming in the pain Swirled down the drain You can see in my face Chained up on the tracks Train coming down the straightaway She stoking coals like it's runaway Still I don't wanna breakaway Don't know what to say Maybe I'm insane Maybe I'm insane sucker for sufferance I need deliverance But I don't know if that exists Everything feel like a risk (a risk) Everyone feel like a risk (a risk) Do you think ever about me Cause I'll never stop Head been like a spinning top It'll never stop Push me to my death falling from the precipice These Crows upon my flesh The ground around me red Why did you want me dead I lay here vacant I guess this is how it ends (Ahhh)

about

First and foremost, Black Swan is about a girl I fell deeply in love with. it's a collection of things I never got to say; a diary or journal of sorts, circa 2017.
It's also an analogy for the turmoil one can go through when you pair today's idea of success with self expression; a study of ignorance towards one's worth, and the power of being ignored by someone else. .
This is my most personal and vulnerable project. I tend to really internalize trauma I've experienced and although this may sound cliche, I wouldn't be here today if I couldn't express this part of my life with this album; it's a piece of my soul. .
This is a dark project, so I understand if this might not be your cup of tea, but I hope you listen with an open mind and experience Black Swan front to back at least once if you decide to hear it.
I hope you enjoy my story.

credits

released May 19, 2020

Written and Produced by Young Negrensé
Additional Production by Tristan Renaud
Mix by Elijah Marrett-Hitch
Master by Blaise Stella

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Young Negrensé Vancouver, British Columbia

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